Are you a film fanatic? Do you like sharing your opinions and being an armchair critic? Then I’ve found just the site for you, where you can post your reviews of any movie you like. Just one catch - it’s called Four Word Film Reviews, so you are limited to a maximum of, yes, four words. Here are some of my favourite four word film reviews to get you started …
1. Pirates of the Caribbean: on Stranger Tides
‘Pirate Franchise Loses Bloom’
Some might say that’s a good thing. I never rated his acting myself, or that of the equally absent Kiera Knightley. This is a classic example of the ideal FWFR – the double meaning referring both to the actor and the poor reviews.
2. Man in the Iron Mask
‘Louis Quatorze’s Heavy Metal’
If you’ve never seen one of these films, the premise is that the titular French king’s twin brother (and the true monarch) is hidden away and encased in an iron mask to hide his identity. Hmm. Heavy indeed. The word play in the title makes it a favourite four word film review.
3. Henry VIII and His Six Wives
‘Henry Has Sixual Relations’
Another prime example of the ideal review, which plays on words. For those of you who haven’t seen ‘The Tudors,' the English king was a sort of prototype Elizabeth Taylor. However, as he died at just 55 (not bad going in those days), his matrimonial career was a little shorter.
4. The Bourne Identity
‘Feddies v Jason’
Here’s another FWFR trick – bringing in a reference to another movie. It’s been a while since I’ve seen the movie, so I’m not sure if the FBI was actually involved. That doesn’t matter though, as it’s a witty title (and only three words).
5. The Da Vinci Code
‘Something about Mary Magdalene’
Boring book, bad film. Oh look, I’ve just come up with my own four word film review. Another reference to a much more entertaining film.
‘Wildly Inaccurate Wallace Biopic’
This film is loathed by historians and Scots alike for its glaring inaccuracies. For example, the bridge that played a crucial part in a Scots victory – not in the film. The French princess that was apparently Wallace’s love interest – about six at the time. About the only thing they got right was his name.
7. The Sixth Sense
‘Good Willis Haunting’
Yup, I didn’t get what was going on until the end of the film. Nicely done. So a good haunting indeed. Plus, this is another favourite four words film review, again, for referencing another film.
8. Hairspray (2007)
‘Divine Comedy Becomes Tragedy’
Those of us who were fans of the wonderful Divine sobbed into our sequins as we heard that John Travolta was to play Divine’s role in the (totally unnecessary) remake of Hairspray. Doomed from the start … Evidently those at Four Words agree.
9. Night of the Living Dead
‘Zombies: It’s Braining Men’
I love a good zombie movie, but it’s a genre that’s hard to take seriously. This is a play on the title of an 80s song. Technically it’s five words though. Where were the reviewers braaaaaaaaaains … Even still, it's a favourite four words film review.
10. Gone with the Wind
‘Damn Not Given, Eventually’
Presumably, the critic who came up with this was referring to the rather lengthy running time of the film. Was it really about six hours, or did it just seem like it? Anyway, they manage to reference the most famous line as well.
Some movie reviews can be far too long and give too much away. That's why I love these favourite four word film reviews -- they're so succinct! So what do you think of the concept of the four word film review, and can you come up with any of your own?
Top Photo Credit: Thanh Giang20101