A horror movie offers remarkable scope for drama and edge-of-the-seat storytelling. However, if the director gets carried away and starts trying to deliver sequence after sequence of chills, gore and flesh, what results is as complete a screen disaster as one can possibly imagine. Here are what I consider the ten worst horror movies of all times.
This is one of the most forgettable alien horror movies you will ever see. It is a typical story of aliens conducting experiments on humans, and while it does not make much sense, the movie does not deliver any chills either.
2. Jason X
The name should say it all. The masked character started off as creepy, but ended up being one of the most wearying ‘yawn’ factors delivered by Hollywood, as he kept featuring in an endless series of Friday the 13th sequels (do you remember how many?). As if that was not enough, here we are bombarded by a Jason X in space, in a meaningless sci-fi chiller. I sincerely hope that by the time year 2455 actually dawns, our ancestors see the sense in terminating this franchise. Clearly one of the worst horror movies of all times.
3. Exorcist II: the Heretic
Apart from this list, this movie will also feature in a list of the greatest sequel disasters of all time. This film bombed at the box office so sensationally that director John Bore re-edited it twice over.
The movie is based on Stephen King’s novel of the same name, the screenplay has been done by William Goldman and it stars Morgan Freeman. Yet none of these names could save this rather awful story revolving around an alien invasion. Really, when will Hollywood stop churning out second rate sci-fi, alien horrors?
5. Wicker Man (2006)
Unbearable is the word that comes to mind. The one thing I could never figure out was that when the original Wicker Man was bad enough to be on this list of the worst horror movies of all times, why deliver a remake? Befuddling… Anyway, even the combined talents of Neil LaBute, Ellen Burstyn and Nicolas Cage couldn’t render this one watchable.
6. The Happening
M. Night Shyamalan is so fond of taking his audiences into ‘Strangeland’ that he seems to have got lost there himself this time. If you thought that Alfred Hitchcock’s Birds was bizarre, this features disappearing bees. And obscure science theories, and people plunging into all-out lunacy for no reason whatsoever. If you are planning to sit through two hours of this, you need to do some serious introspection.
7. Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2
Some people might consider the original Blair Witch Project novel, but what excuse does this one have? Four students, fascinated by the three missing Maryland filmmakers, go on to explore those same woods. And yes, evil doesn’t die, we’ve heard it before… and yes, some of them disappear. But really, do you care?
8. House of Wax
This film tries so hard to deliver creeps and fails so miserably that it is pathetic. While six desperate students tried their best to escape being turned into wax zombies, audiences had a hard time staying in for the dollars they had wasted. Perhaps the most horrifying potential outcome of the film was Paris Hilton being turned into a wax zombie of herself. One of the worst horror movies of all time? Yes siree!
9. Dead Meat
Yes, there is a movie actually called ‘Dead Meat’, and if you hadn’t heard of it before, be thankful. It’s a gory Irish zombie film, where the dead are rising thanks to an infection spreading from slaughtered animals, and feeding on the living (we get the message). It was a movie made specially for this list.
10. Plan 9 from Outer Space
It’s a 1959 film that nobody with good sense watches anymore, and it could only come out of obscurity on such a list. Aliens are resurrecting the dead to rule the world, and what they actually accomplish is two hours of unprecedented screen madness. Call this the grandfather of all the B-grade alien horrors that plagued the 70s, 80s and 90s.
This was my list of the ten worst horror movies of all times, but I cannot but mention the unfortunate fact that this list could easily be extended to a hundred. The best lesson you could take away is to avoid the entire genre of Hollywood sci-fi horror, barring extremely rare exceptions. What movies would you add to the list?
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