7 Things I've Learned from the Jersey Shore ...

I rarely notice any one of them suffering a hangover after a night of drinking. Of course, this may just be edits in the show. However, it’s uncommon to see some members of the Jersey Shore, mainly Snooki, wake up during the afternoon and start drinking immediately. She was a hot mess when she came home, but she is all good now.

These are the three very most important things in life. Nearly every episode of the Jersey Shore the guys head out for, “GTL.” It’s exciting to them. I try to work out. I like a nice tan and I am always doing laundry. I’m not excited about it. The difference is they take their laundry to the cleaners and while I’m stuck at home doing my own.

You put eight grown-ups in a house with an unlimited amount of alcohol and you are going to get some drama. If I ever need to get in a fight, rest assured I have a black belt in Jersey Shore Kung Fu. I know how to pull hair and flair my arms around like I’m trying to take flight. I’ve also learned that if I ever find myself in a conflict with someone I’m sure I can’t beat, then I should bang my head into the nearest concrete wall. Thanks Mike! Who’s going to mess with the crazy person who just went head first into a wall?

Sunday dinner is my favorite tradition of the Jersey Shore cast. Under no circumstances is it alright to skip Sunday dinner. Sunday dinner is the time to come together as a family and put the bad vibes behind and start fresh. The group takes turns making a huge Italian dinner and cleaning up.

Working part-time at a T-shirt shop, ice cream parlor, and a pizzeria are totally acceptable and reasonable career choices for your mid-twenties and early thirties. Also when you work at these sorts of places part-time, your boss should give you a place to live. Even better, while working you can leave whenever you want, get drunk in the bathroom, or sleep in the storage room.

The Jersey Shore housemates love to play pranks on each other. I love watching it. They have given me some excellent pranking ideas. There are so many great ones to choose from, like leaving crusty underwear on someone’s pillow, moldy cheese under the bed, hanging beloved stuffed animals off the side of the house, or feeding your roommates dog table scraps and letting them crap everywhere (the dogs, not the roommates -- I hope!).

They all have some pretty good dance moves. The guys really know how to keep the beat while fist pumping, but I love Deena’s “Jersey Turnpike.” She bends herself in half perfectly, while rubbing her butt all over some innocent guy behind her. As the 5th seasons starts up I think I finally have my Jersey Shore moves down.

There are so many more lessons to come from the Jersey Shore cast. I can’t wait to see what season 5 brings. I know for sure it won’t come without drama, drinking, and “GTL.” If you are a Jersey Shore stalker, what are some of the things you’ve learned from the Jersey Shore?

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