1. Patrick Jane

I would like to start with the eye-candy and one of the awesome TV detectives gracing our screens right now. I have on more than one occasion tried to coerce my significant other into buying a waistcoat and drinking more tea, but I think he might be onto me. The charming and, let's face it, delicious Patrick would not just be the eye candy and sit directly opposite me so I could play footsie with him under the fable, but would be able to analyse the behavior of all the other TV detectives in the room. And having an interest in psychology, he would be able to teach me a few tricks...and oh how I would love for him to be my teacher!

2. Hank Schrader

I love Hank and I think he would be hilarious at the dinner party. At first, he would undoubtedly come across as a buffoon to the other dinner guests but once his nerves subsided, his fiercely loyal and lovable characteristics will shine through. He may get a little rowdy as he ingests more and more alcohol throughout the evening, though, and without Marie there to keep him in-check, it may get a little out of control. It would be incredibly entertaining nevertheless.

3. Columbo

How can we not invite Columbo? He would have to wear his mac all the way through dinner, that would be my only stipulation. He seems like such a noble gentleman and a genuinely nice guy. I think he and Patrick Jane would get along nicely. Just one more thing (see what I did there!), he wouldn't be able to smoke his cigar as it may offend the other dinner guests and he would have to leave his dog at home with his wife, as it wouldn't get along with my cats, I'm afraid.

4. Jessica Fletcher

Now, having an interest in writing, Jessica Fletcher would have to be there, as I would want to probe her about her fabulous fiction and also inquire about how she finds the time to fight crime AND write at the same time! She would provide the much needed antidote to the inebriated and rambunctious males present, although I think she would handle a table full of rowdy men quite well and would provide the refereeing when Hank comes out with his inappropriate quips. I'm sure she wouldn't be offended though, she has a great sense of humor after all.

5. DCI Frost

Now to DCI Frost, who would provide the much needed straight-talking at the dinner table. This old-school no-nonsense copper with a passionate belief in traditional policing methods might impress Jessica Fletcher with his rough and ready manner. And seeing as they're both single, I'd like to think I could be playing cupid. Also, I don't think he would stand for any nonsense from the other dinner guests. I can see that he might get quite irritated with Hank's antics so there might be some fireworks.

6. Axel Foley

Ok, more eye candy for me, I must confess, and Axel would be hilarious too I'm sure. Like Hank, he would have to really suppress all of his natural impulses and urges to swear and make inappropriate comments about females. After all, he must respect the lovely Jessica. But I'm sure she would keep him in check! Let's seat Axel and Hank together for comedy gold.

7. Adrian Monk

Now, Adrian Monk would be another brilliant dinner guest. I think Patrick and Jessica would be the most sensitive to his extreme OCD tendencies and his obsession with neatness and order, so I would probably sit them together. I definitely wouldn't seat him next to Hank and Axel...unless I was feeling particularly sadistic!

Clearly I have too much time on my hands to concoct such random scenarios in my head, but it keeps me amused. It's the little things, hey. So, what do you think? Recipe for dinner party disaster or perfect dining dynamics? Who would you have there instead of the above?