I can’t do anything about movies that are already being remade and shouldn’t be, ever, but boy have I got a bone to pick with some movies that shouldn’t be remade, and aren’t completely legit yet. It’s bad enough that so many classics get ruined with a revamp, but now, there are remakes being made about movies that shouldn’t have been made in the first place. Why? Why?
1 An American Werewolf in London
This is a movie that shouldn’t be remade because they kind of tried it before. Did anyone see An American Werewolf in Paris? No? That’s because it was awful. The premise was good, and I love that guy who starred in it, but to do it now … you know it’s just going to be a flick full of Jacob Black type werewolves. Which I guess some people will enjoy, so yeah, I bet it gets done.
This would just be awful. I don’t even have anything to say besides that. Dune is perfect the way it is and it needs to stay that way. But I bet they’ll say they’re just “reinterpreting” it, do it anyway, and challenge the wrath of goodness knows how many Dune fans.
3 Fright Night
I saw this when it was first came out on VHS (haha). My cousin let me do it, and boy were my parents mad! So was I, because it was traumatizing. So was the sequel; I couldn’t eat spaghetti for years after seeing that. The reason I hate to see this remade is because it’s going to turn into Twilight. That’s not a jab, but everyone’s going to be feeding off the franchise, thinking they can get rich.
4 Short Circuit
This is a movie that shouldn’t be remade because it was perfectly awful the first time. I was a kid and thought it was kind of dumb. I don’t want to see a movie with a robot that the leading lady falls in love with. That’s weird and creepy and wrong.
They already tried this. It went very, very badly. I felt awful for Matthew Broderick. Some classics need to stay classic, because it’s the abject lack of super awesome special effects that make them thrilling. Leave Godzilla alone! Let him rest in peace!
6 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Why? It’s not enough that you’ve done awful things to the Chipmunks? Quite often, if there’s a movie that shouldn’t be remade, it’s part of my childhood – yeah, including this one. Turtles were very popular among my elementary school class. We went buggy for the movies. Now, I don’t know, do kids still think these guys are cool?
7 Child’s Play
This movie should never, ever be remade. It scared the crap out of me when it was all crappy and fake. If they remade it today, with all the way cool graphics magic they have, I will freak out. I’ve already got visions of Chucky looking something like Gollum. No!
There are tons of movies that shouldn’t be remade, or shouldn’t have been remade, because they were awesome the way they were. The remake of Sabrina was awful, I’ll flip if anyone else ever tries to do that to a Bogie movie, and evidently they’re trying to tackle Pet Sematary too. Again, scared me badly enough in 1989 or whenever. Tell me, what remakes really make you cringe?
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